SPD: My story

Here is my story of my experience with SPD. I Hope it helps others in some way. The timeline my be a little jiggled or hazy, But this is how I remember it…..

I was a Fitness Instructor, Personal trainer and Martial artist. I considered myself to be a strong independent woman. At the age of 40 I discovered I was pregnant! 
Being so strong fit and healthy, I was told - "you will sail through this".

After about 12 weeks I started to get pain in my pelvis, and feel pressure down below. I thought perhaps this was normal, but it rapidly got worse.

By 16 weeks I was extremely uncomfortable. I tried to hide how I was feeling, and pretended all was fine. I spoke to doctor, midwife who advised I Give up work and rest. To quote "invest in as many box sets as you can and do nothing" I was horrified.

Not only did this mean stopping work, but giving up my hobbies of training and exercise meant giving up the things that not only kept me physically fit, but mentally healthy! 

I pulled back a bit and tried to rest, but sitting down for too long was extremely painful. But standing up was painful too. And anything more than walking slow became impossible.

I had to give up work and everything I loved. All I had left was walking the dog, but that soon became extremely difficult. My walk became more of a shuffle. I couldn't move my legs properly and when I did the pain I felt was like no other. I had never experienced pain like it. I tried to hide it as much as possible and “get on with it”, I felt embarrassed and pathetic.

My daily short walk with the dog for my sanity and to get fresh air became so painful i had to resort to struggling across the road to the park bench (luckily the park is literally opposite my house). I would get to the bench barely able to breath from the pain.

I would sit on the bench and throw a ball for the dog until I couldn't bare the pain of sitting any longer. Then I would try and get home. Sometimes a friend would meet me at the bench so I had company. Having someone to talk to would help distract form the pain. (I nicknamed her my Bench wench!)

I remember once, getting across the road and having to crawl up the driveway to get back - praying no one saw me. I felt completely disabled, useless, weak and pathetic. I hated what I had become. Why wasn't I sailing through? Was I too weak? Was it my fault?  6 months ago I was teaching body combat and now I can't even walk my dog!

In the meantime all my efforts to get help from Doctors etc, were like banging my head against a wall. "You have SPD, its hormonal, it will disappear once you give birth, there's nothing we can do. Rest.”

I self referred to physio, and kept asking for help. They offered me drugs for the pain. Codine being one of them. I refused to take it as I was aware this can be harmful to babies health. 

I finally got to see a physio on NHS. After a very painful trip to the hospital and tackling getting all the way to the ward. I was told there was nothing they could do for SPD. They gave me crutches, a support band and said to call back when the baby was 6 weeks old if I am still having problems, but it will probably disappear after the birth.
They also said to not let my legs open too wide during labour, as did my midwife. 

I felt so disheartened, and useless, and the thought of having this constant pain for another few months was terrifying. I decided to focus on getting to the birth date and reminded myself, I would have a lovely son and the pain would be gone. The last few months of pregnancy were horrific.

I became more isolated, restricted and my mental health deteriorated as well as my physical. I found ways to get around. The crutches were difficult and just as painful as walking (try picking up dog poo on crutches when you are heavily pregnant, and both legs do not work! ha ha). To get round the house, i sat on my bum and used my arms to drag myself backwards. I rearranged the furniture so I could use my arms to get around.

I felt completely humiliated and ashamed if anyone saw me, so withdrew even more.

Finally my waters broke on a Sunday evening and I went into hospital. I wanted a water birth as floating in water was the only place I ever felt slight relief. I was told NO, due to not being able to get in/out of the pool myself. 

I was put into a bed to wait, lying propped up on my back. It was so painful. I know now that this position is not good for anyone with SPD and in fact can slow labour. Seems it did. By Monday evening, no baby and I was in agony. My sister who was at the birth had to constantly remind the doctors/nurses not to open my legs, which kept happening.
Again, I know now, I should have been measured to see what my pain free gap was, as I could barely even open my legs slightly.

By Tuesday morning, no baby, and to be honest I only remember bits of the last 24 hours. I had in my birth plan that I did not want epidural and no pain relief, so gas and air wasn't helping and I was delirious with pain I think. I remember alarms going off, and being surrounded by what seems like 100s of doctors. Then I had emergency C-section. I'm told they nearly lost us both, but we survived and I am grateful for that.

The first time I got out of bed in the hospital, I realised, the SPD had not miraculously dissapeared. It was still there and now I had the issues of the C-section on top. 

The first few months of my babies life, I could not do a lot of the things a mother does. couldn’t bath him, couldn't carry him in a sling and feel him on my chest as you go for a walk.

Again I felt useless, guilty, and that Mikey deserved better than me.

I felt I had lost who I was. Where was the old Sher,? Would I ever be able to walk properly again? I hated myself. 
My mental health deteriorated.

Unknown to me at the time, I was likely suffering from PTSD & PND. I was afraid of large crowds, but tried to hide that fact as best I could. I couldn't handle being in a room of more than 2 or 3 people, and they were only a select few people. Any more than this would give me anxiety. Again I tired to hide it and pretend I was O.K. My sister sought help for me, but they never got back to me. 

I rang the NHS physio after 6 weeks. They had closed my case and I had to reapply!

I requested a Womens Health Physio and they refused. so i requested hydrotherapy. I knew alot about how the body moves so I would sort it myself. I asked a friend who was a physio to help me even though he wasn't a Womens Health Specialist. He helped me at a discounted rate.

It took months to be able to walk properly again and without pain. It took around 2 years to be able to teach classes and go back to work properly again. I stumbled across the Pregnacy Crisis Centre who helped me with my mental recovery.

Mikey is 5 now, and I am fine. I teach Women’s self defence, and back to all the active things I love. I have qualified in Post/Prenatal Exercise as well as Mental Health and various other courses. Convincing my “bench wench” to come with me and also qualify!

My Tutor on these courses was Incredible and additionally helped me personally on my journey to recovery.

I have started my own CIC (Empower) which I plan to help Women like me, so they don't have to go through what I did.
I have put together a Recovery Programs, and deliver them to women face to face as well as now being available online. This Program is Free or funded to anyone who needs it.

SPD is TREATABLE. It is NOT a hormonal condition. It is Biomechanical, and therefore treatable with Manual Therapy from a specialist.

A woman with SPD should be measured REGULARLY and recorded to check their pain free movement and from there their birth plans adjusted and discussed. A water birth IS possible and in fact recommended. Being put in the position I was put, made things even worse.

I have made it my mission to stop this happening to other women. Guidelines actually state these above facts, but for some reason seems they are rarely even acknowledged.

My story is a painful one, but over time it is one I have realised is not unusual.
Also I feel like it had purpose and has made me who I am today.

I am still a Fitness Instructor, a Personal Trainer, and a Martial Artist. But additionally I am a Mother, A bloody good one at that, I am stronger, I am a better person.

I am still Sher, but I am a better version of her now.

*Special Thanks goes to, My Tutor, My Bench Wench and my friends and family. Without them I do not know what I would have done. I will never forget what they did for me.